Another Year... Revisiting the Enneagram

As I have written in the past, I don't really "do" New Year's Resolutions.

Bottom line is that I don't need to manufacture my own reasons to feel bad about not accomplishing things I set out to do... just to feel like I am part of the "Societal Mores Club."

Are goals a bad thing?

Personally, I don't think so-- what feels "bad" to me isn't the resolutions, but pressuring ourselves, especially when that pressure is the product of societal expectations, rather than our own authentic sense of what we want. Or want to accomplish.

I believe the vast majority of people who make New Year's Resolutions do so because it's part of the collective societal hypnosis and they feel like they "should;" because "that's what people DO." not because they are genuinely ready and able to set goals in a sensible fashion, and then take the organized steps-- with positive intent-- to accomplish them.

There are exceptions, of course.

As of late, I have been "revisiting" the Enneagram... in part because I was organizing my office bookcase and the 30-odd books on my shelf on various aspects of the system reminded me of how much I used to "study" typology... and how I invested almost 20 years in gaining a better understanding of myself and the world around me... in large part through the Enneagram.

As I started to read again... and visited some of the many groups, web sites and forums that have sprung up... I was also reminded of why I stopped: The pervasive focus on "fixations" increasingly felt like the eternal emphasis was on "not being well" rather than on being well.

It seems like there is always this assumption that we are "not well" and need to be "healed," but there is very little information and guidance about actually LIVING and BEING well.

I remember sitting with that-- back around 2005-06-- and growing disgruntled at the realization that it felt like yet another variation on certain branches of religion (and Christianity, especially) where the eternal assumption is "we're all sinners."

In the Church of the Enneagram, it felt like "we're all in our fixations."

Don't get me wrong... I "get" the underlying logic, purely from a psychoanalytical perspective. If you're emotionally healthy, balanced and well, you're not going to BE on the Internet a lot, looking at systems like the Enneagram, you're going to be too busy being "out there, living life." And so... both the "givers" and "takers" in the Enneagram equation are going to be disproportionately those with a perceived need to "fix" something.

And that's kind of why I left... to get out of "analysis paralysis."

So why am I revisiting the Enneagram, now?

Actually, because I like to write (and finally have some time!)... and it's an interesting field, as well as one of my favorites.

To Resolve... or NOT to Resolve

I'm a fairly staunch opponent of New Year's resolutions.

I don't know that this has anything in particular to do with being a Nine... I just have come to realize that I don't feel compelled to create a number of unrealistic goals I will then fail to accomplish, with the result that I feel bad about myself, or somehow "less than."

When I look at the whole issue of New Year's resolutions, it strikes me as problematic. Many people resolve to take on these BIG projects (which may require all year) in a thought process of moments. People plan more thoroughly for a weekly shopping trip. Which they generally succeed at. The idea (for example) of "losing 40 lbs" amounts to little more than empty words, absent a deeper process of working out HOW that is going to happen. And most people don't. They just say "I'm gonna lose 40lbs!" and by mid-February they are depressed and have given up because the first six weeks of the year has resulted in a loss of ONE pound and a lack of energy and well-being.

I prefer to set continuous small goals.

"This year I will organize and update all my client files."

No!

"This WEEK, I will organize all my client files for people who's name begin with the letter A."
"NEXT week, I will contact all A clients to make sure their information is current."

Yes!

Odds are I will create two "successes" through the above approach.

So does this relate to the enneagram Nine personality? Maybe marginally, in the sense that Nines tend to zone out and procrastinate when faced with things/tasks that look like they will require a lot of energy and effort.

Odds are that I will not put something off, if I can look at it and think "yeah, I can get that done real quick and then go back to a rest state."

Efficiency, and not zoning out and going to "sleep" for me involves a process of "deceiving myself" into believing that the tasks ahead of me-- the basic process of living-- involves doing lots of "small easy tasks" that can be quickly done and over with. Ultimately, it's just an issue of creating semantics that work for me. The actual tasks are no different from anyone else's.

The idea of "painting the house" makes me want to avoid the task at all costs.

The idea of "painting the bedroom" + "painting the bathroom" + "painting the kitchen" + "painting the hallway" + "painting the guest room" does not.

When I sit with how I feel about "tasks," I recognize that part of what we're looking at here is my Myers-Briggs "J" preference: I don't like to have "in process" things in my life, I like to have "done" things. Very large tasks require that they remain "open" for a long time, and I find it stressful; disturbing. Small tasks allow me to "cross something off the list." It will be done. Gone. I will never have to return to it. That offers me a certain peace of mind.

And, as we know, Nines are ALL about peace!

May you have a peaceful 2012!