Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Flat Feelings

On occasion, people have told me that I seem emotionally "flat."

I don't seem to get excited about much of anything. I don't get angry, and I don't get particularly joyful, and not particularly fearful, or aggressive, or anything else.

I have even been told that I don't seem to possess the normal spectrum of human emotions.

I'm not sure what to think about this. Part of the conundrum is that I only have experience with being me, so I am not entirely sure what "normal" means. Certainly, I can observe other people... and I can see them get "affected" by events in way I don't fully understand.

I see someone fly into a rage, or have a meltdown... and I find myself looking that the causal event and thinking to myself "Why is THAT even something to think about, let alone have a meltdown over?"

When I look at those words, I realize it makes me sound callous. I don't mean to be. I can only conclude that other people's emotions burn with a brighter flame than mine.

It's a mystery to me, what it feels like to be "hot blooded." Although... those I look upon as being hot blooded usually insist that they are not.