The Paradoxes of "Emotional Sloth"

Recently, my wife and I spent three weeks in Denmark, the country where I was born and raised.

For three lovely weeks, we had "nothing to do," in the sense that the clamor and demands of everyday life were nowhere to be found.

I spent a lot of time "just sitting" and thinking about life and the world and the human condition... against the backdrop of a family summer cottage where I spent many a summer holiday as a kid.

When I am on vacation, I am just not one of "those people" who feels compelled to cram "activities" into my every waking moment... for me, the entire purpose of being on vacation is that it represents an opportunity for me to totally "unplug" without feelings of guilt.

So I do.

I got to reflecting on the reality that my most desired state is "stillness."

When characterizing Nines and their fixations, a word/phrase that is often used is "sloth." Sometimes the more specific classical term "acedia" (Claudio Naranjo is fond of this one) is used-- specifically meaning spiritual or mental sloth. I also see the term "indolence" used, quite a bit.

The interesting (apparent) paradox is that we criticize Nines for being in this "nothing" place... yet society broadly endorses the positive idea of stillness through meditation, and we "value" people who have the ability to stay unflappable and calm.

There's a strange duality there... and I fell into this type of thinking, myself, for many years... with an internal dialogue that went something like:

"So you want me to be calm and peaceful, and you openly declare this a GOOD thing, but because I am calm and peaceful I am in my FIXATION and need to snap out of it???!?!??"

Ultimately, we need to scratch beneath the surface and examine intent.

Meditation and striving to keep oneself in a Zen-like state of calm is an active practice... not a way to zone out and avoid the world, out of a sense of apathy. At a glance, an external observer may see the two as fairly similar... but when you examine the underlying states of consciousness... one is motivated by a true sense of peace, the other is motivated by apathy.

I genuinely like to be peaceful.

I have no fear of "doing" or of "engaging." But when offered the active choice between engaging in a bunch of stuff and sitting still in a state of peace, I am always going to choose peace. There's little to no ongoing "monkey mind/monkey body" within me.

Does that make me emotionally or spiritually slothful, or merely a peaceful sort of person?

Beats me... but I always return to the same basic question: "If someone is functioning and content in their life, WHO decides what 'healthy conduct' looks like?"